#1: I will offer it to anyone who comes to my house.
Little old ladies always seem to have at least one dish full of hard candy hanging around their homes and will quite insistently offer it to any visitor. In the same vein, my copy of "Electric Warrior" is always out and ready to play for anyone and everyone who visits my lair.
#2: I carry it around with me 24/7.
Little old ladies' purses/handbags are possibly the world's richest source of hard candy. Try going through your nan's purse sometime when she's in the john, I guarantee you'll find at least three individually-wrapped Werther's or a half roll of LifeSavers.
Whereas hard candy travels everywhere with little old ladies in their purses, "Electric Warrior" is always with me in the form of MP3 files. I bring my MP3 player with me everywhere I go in case I feel like doing hip slides to "Mambo Sun" in the cat food aisle at Sobeys.
#3: It's a potent cure-all.
Little old ladies are known for proffering hard candy as the answer to every problem. Feeling blue? Have a piece of hard candy! Tired from shopping? Oh, a butterscotch will perk ya right up! Fussy youngster? Give him a LifeSaver! Heart attack? Suck this peppermint while you give them CPR!
"Electric Warrior" has similar curative properties for me. If I'm crooked, tired, or otherwise Not Cool, spinning the album fixes that in a snap. If I were dead, I'm pretty sure it could reanimate me.
Now, if only there were something that could do the same for Marc Bolan...
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